10 things ADHD parents do differently

Author

Ian Tenenbaum
May 12, 2024 • Read Time: 5 minutes

If you ever feel like everyone has it all figured out much better than you, read on.

The more I learn about ADHD and the connection to all parts of my life, the more calm and in control I feel.

This is not to say I have it all figured out by any means.

The point is that when we start to understand what’s going on in our brain, and WHY we are this way, then we start the journey of acceptance, self awareness, and ultimately, transformation.

Here is a great look at some of the ways us parents with ADHD handle daily responsibilities differently.

To be clear, I am not in favor of using these things as “excuses” or reasons why we just “can’t change”.

I am sharing them to help everyone better understand what’s going on so we can start to focus on ways to improve in these areas.

Reply to me and let me know what resonates for you.

Much love,

Ian

10 Things ADHD Parents Do Differently

(and the science behind them)

1 | Managing Time:

Neurotypical:

Usually keeps track of the family schedule without much difficulty, occasionally forgetting an appointment or activity.

ADHD Parent:

Often struggles with time management, frequently missing or being late to important events, or double-booking activities.

→ Underlying Cause🔎🔬🧠

ADHD can impair the ability to estimate time and prioritize tasks effectively.

2 | Handling Homework:

Neurotypical:

Sets a consistent time and place for homework, reminding their teenager as needed.

ADHD Parent:

May forget to check if homework is done until the last minute or has trouble establishing a routine, leading to chaotic school mornings.

→ Underlying Cause🔎🔬🧠

ADHD affects working memory and organizational skills, making routine setting challenging.

3 | Household Organization:

Neurotypical:

Generally keeps the house orderly, with occasional clutter.

ADHD Parent:

Struggles with disorganization, leading to misplaced documents or essential items, which can create stress during important occasions.

→ Underlying Cause🔎🔬🧠

Executive function deficits common in ADHD complicate task initiation and clutter management.

4 | Emotional Regulation:

Neurotypical: 

Typically maintains composure in stressful situations but might occasionally lose their temper.

ADHD Parent:

May have a shorter fuse, resulting in more frequent emotional outbursts which can confuse or upset the teenager.

→ Underlying Cause🔎🔬🧠

ADHD is often associated with emotional dysregulation, affecting the ability to manage responses to stress.

5 | Following Through with Plans:

Neurotypical:

Usually follows through with family commitments and plans, with occasional lapses.

ADHD Parent: 

Often starts projects or plans with enthusiasm but struggles to complete them, leading to disappointment or frustration in the family.

→ Underlying Cause🔎🔬🧠

ADHD impacts sustained attention and motivation, especially for less immediately rewarding tasks.

6 | Multi-tasking:

Neurotypical:

Manages multiple tasks at a moderate pace.

ADHD Parent: 

Often feels overwhelmed when juggling multiple tasks, possibly leading to incomplete tasks and added stress.

→ Underlying Cause🔎🔬🧠

Individuals with ADHD can have difficulty switching focus between tasks, leading to overwhelm.

7 | Communication Consistency:

Neurotypical: 

Consistently communicates rules and expectations, with occasional misunderstandings.

ADHD Parent: 

Might forget what was discussed in previous conversations, leading to inconsistent enforcement of rules and confusion.

→ Underlying Cause🔎🔬🧠

Memory inconsistencies and distractibility in ADHD contribute to difficulties in maintaining consistent communication.

8 | Engagement in School Activities:

Neurotypical: 

Regularly attends and participates in school events.

ADHD Parent: 

Might intend to be involved but often forgets or is too overwhelmed to participate, potentially feeling guilty or disconnected.

→ Underlying Cause🔎🔬🧠

The challenges of ADHD with prioritization and time management make it hard to keep track of and commit to scheduled events.

9 | Planning Family Activities:

Neurotypical:

Plans activities and outings with some forethought and organization.

ADHD Parent: 

May struggle with planning and can be impulsive, leading to last-minute changes that can be exciting but also stressful.

→ Underlying Cause🔎🔬🧠

Impulsivity and difficulties with planning ahead are common in ADHD, affecting the ability to organize structured activities.

10 | Patience:

Neurotypical: 

Generally patient but can have moments of impatience.

ADHD Parent: 

May experience significant fluctuations in patience, affecting interactions with their teenager, especially during homework or when discipline is needed.

→ Underlying Cause🔎🔬🧠

ADHD-related impulsivity and emotional regulation issues can lead to variable levels of patience.

Ready to make a change in your life?

If you would like to better understand yourself, your patterns, and learn new skills to be effective, schedule time with me to learn about 1:1 coaching or the ADHD Productivity Club.

Did this newsletter keep your attention?

Login or Subscribe to participate in polls.

Reply

or to participate.