Why is “starting” so damn hard for us?

✔ We can spend hours on things that don’t really matter. 

✔ Go deep on topics that interest us and become an expert in a few hours.

But when it comes to “just starting” that one thing that:

If you are anything like me, that voice in your head screams louder than anyone can possibly imagine, constantly.

It can be hard to explain to someone without ADHD because it’s not actually just a single voice like a child having a tantrum.

For me, it becomes a symphony of voices having in-depth dialogue that is:

UNTIL………..

We exhaust ourselves in mental gymnastics to the point where it’s no longer even an option to do anything productive RIGHT NOW.

So how do we get out of our own way?

Step 1) Self Awareness:

The first step is noticing what you are thinking and FEELING. We often get lost in our thoughts and fail to notice the feelings it’s creating in our bodies.

Next time you are in a mental loop wrestling with whether or not to start that task that you have been putting off, just PAUSE, breathe, and notice what thinking about it does to your nervous system.

Step 2) Self Regulation:

Now that you are in tune with how your body is feeling and connected to your nervous system, practice calming and soothing yourself. This could be through breathing, going for a 5 minute walk, stretching, etc. Whatever works for you to lower the “fight or flight” triggers that get activated when we “don’t want to do something”.

Step 3) Positive Self Talk:

When we allow all the voices in our heads to run the show, we know what happens. Instead of “just watching” or noticing all the voices fighting with each other, try calming them and injecting a new voice.

I use things like:

• “it’s fine to just start it for now”

• “let’s just take a quick look at what even needs to be done”

• “we can spend 5 minutes on this now and then see what’s required for later”

• “we don’t need to figure this out right now”

• “it may not even be as complicated as we thought”

• “it’s going to feel awesome when this is done”

The goal of this is to get your inner dialogue to put the “weapons down” and relax a minute so you can just break through the “starting” barrier.

Step 4) Trust Your Intuition

So much of procrastination comes from our deep-rooted desires to be perfect. This can also be connected with many ADHD brains also suffering from RSD (Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria).

We need to practice trusting ourselves and just moving through uncomfortable moments one at a time.

Remind yourself that the goal is not perfection.

The goal is COMPLETION.

Step 5) Approach Hard Tasks with a DRAFT & REPEAT Approach.

In my online course “CONQUERING YOUR ADHD PARALYSIS” I focus on how taking a DRAFT & REPEAT approach is ironically the fastest way to completing tasks.

When we lower the expectations we put on ourselves by approaching the task as simply a “DRAFT”, then we lower our anxiety and resistance to starting and moving through it.

Our minds can let go of perfectionism and fear of failure since its “only a draft” anyway.

Then, when you layer on the value of REPETITION in terms of how it’s the key to improvement, we can more easily move through from start to draft to repeat!

Let’s recap:

What is something you have been avoiding even though you know it’s important to you?

I challenge you to go through these 5 steps and report back to me how they work for you!  

YOU GOT THIS!